"Honey Does This Make Me Look Fat?" - A Man's Answer

I actually tweeted about this earlier today. These are things that I myself have learned about communicating with your mate if the issue of weight gain comes up. I've learned that men, generally speaking, aren't insensitive about their lady's weight, but there is a right way and a wrong way, and more times than not, men go left when the subject arises. I can speak on it myself too. But this is of my OWN accord, I didn't get this from a website or a magazine, etc. I've added a little more detail to it here, since I'm no longer limited to 140 characters.

So, ANYWAY...I appreciate being able to help out whenever I can, and to share the things I've learned with whomever wants to listen/read. So fellas, if you need to- take notes, and ladies, hit me up and tell me if I'm on point wit this or not, and if I am, do me a favor and pass it on to the next guy wit green glob comin out his mouth =]

Fellas if your girl is gaining weight, and you think it's gonna be an issue/problem:

#1. DONT treat it like a weight ISSUE/PROBLEM lol but forreal if you sound like you have a problem with her weight, she will feel like u have a problem with HER. If she loves you she wants to be good for you and please you, and any sign of dissatisfaction is like #SHOTSFIRED.

#2. Don't be the one to bring it up. For the love of GOD, don't bring it up unless she does. Trust me. Patience is the key. Wait for the moment. If the moment never comes- (*see entry "#2b")

#2b. Only bring it up if it gets extreme - less than 100 & 300+ because then & ONLY THEN is it a serious health issue, that MUST be address. NO DEAD GIRLFRIENDS!

#3. Maintain her confidence. No matter how a girl looks, if her confidence is low- she's ugly. If she's feeling herself, don't shoot her down. If you shoot her down, you're going down too. Good confidence almost always equals happiness.

#3b. If you are her man, you are the #1 person (besides herself) that she's GOTTA be sexy to. So always tell her how beautiful she is. Be affectionate. Show her that you are attracted to her. Ladies love to feel this way as opposed to wondering "Am I still attractive to him?" A little weight gain doesn't mean that she's repulsive. She's still your lady, and you have that responsibility, YES RESPONSIBILITY, to care for and cater to her esteem. Always tell her how beautiful she is.

#4. If she has a problem with her weight/appearance, talk WITH her, not TO her. Communication is a two-way street, not a one-man show. Listen, PLEASE listen, and remember to think before you say ANYTHING. (See #1)

#4b. Discuss the problem, what it is, why she feels that way, and some (keyword) REASONABLE solutions to remedy the problem. EXAMPLE OF WHAT NOT TO SAY: "You just need to lose some weight." You are walking, no, you are running, naw, you are SPRINTING, down a path to destruction! Once again (See #1, #4)

#4c. Make eye-contact. That's very important. Wandering eyes or lack of focus give off "lack of interest" signals. If both of yall are discussing it, it has to be equally important. EQUALLY, you can't care less than her, and you damn sure can't care more than her. While you're talking make her laugh so it wont be so tense (unless you usually make bad jokes). MAKE EYE CONTACT (had to say it twice). Above all else, let her know you genuinely want the best for her.

#5. After the talk, reassure her. Hug. Kiss. Smile. Hug. Make her feel good that she opened up to you on a sensitive subject. Because believe it or not, yall just bonded, and if you handled it the right way, she loves you a little bit more.

#6. If she diets, WE diet. If she works out, WE work out. Don't look at it as labor/a burden, look at it as bonding, because that's what she sees. Dieting might not be all smiles, or the most masculine thing to do, but a reasonable diet is beneficial. Working out together can definitely be a fun activity for the both of you to share. Take control and mold it into what you need it to be. This builds trust and unity too.

#7. Love her unconditionally. If yall work out forever & she doesn't lose a single pound, that's cool. If you guys get any closer than the day yall started working out, the time yall spent together is worth it.

So the moral of the story is that there's a solution to any problem, serious or not. Fellas you can work around her gaining weight if that's really a problem to you, but above all, as her man, you must always cater to her confidence. So don't be a jackass about it.

Love...