Friends

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I usually say that the word "love" is used too loosely, and it is. But love in itself is a deep and quite often misunderstood subject. I'll save that for another post though. Today, I want to talk about friendship. Hopefully, you'll be able to extract something from this post and attach it to your own life.

The most casual definition of friend, according to Merriam-Webster's dictionary is "one attached to another by affection or esteem" or "a favored companion". I personally prefer the latter definition, but I still give my readers good information. In latin the word for friend is "amicus" in greek the word is "philos" (male) or "phili" (female) both mean "loved one". So now you have the classroom information.

I've been fortunate enough to have been blessed with great and awesome friends: Carlos Duran Birdsong, Adam Christopher Henson, Joshua Daniel Harvey, just to name three. Now, most people nowadays have undependable people in their lives, and you often hear the phrase, "I don't have friends, I keep associates." This is a result of what happens when the meaning of friendship is abused and people become untrustworthy of others. This isn't anything new. All throughout history, there have been betrayals. Even in the days of the bible, Solomon speaks Proverbs warning of betrayal among friends. Job, in his worst days, couldn't depend on his friends for comfort because his condition and his situation were totally baffling to them. Of course we all can recall Judas betraying Jesus Christ. So we know that betrayal isn't anything new.

But what's the positive side of friendship? Why is it that mistrust is so dominant in the world we live in? What is it that we should look for in a friend? Because contrary to what most would tell you, you cannot make it in this world on your own. You NEED other people to succeed. Friends are an important asset in life.

• The first thing you should make sure to do is associate yourself with people who will build you up. Negative people bring negative results. Misery loves company, but rarely invites success to the party. Remember this and you should go far. Its also good to have friends with the same belief system as you. If you are a Christian, get good Christian friends who believe what you believe and are available to you.

• Solomon writes in Proverbs 18:24 "A man that hathfriends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friendthat sticketh closer than a brother." So we know from reading this that we ourselves must be friendly. Don't be unavailable. Friendship is more than just a smiling face and good conversation. Do a little more to actually show that you are there to BE a friend.

• Okay, this is my favorite point: in Proverbs 27:17, Solomon writes, "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." BUILD EACH OTHER UP ALWAYS! I can count on all the digits on my body how many times a person has found a way to better themselves financially, mentally, etc. and will leave their friends in the dark on what they did. Iron sharpens iron. You and your friend(s) should ALWAYS be trying to better each other. Or perhaps you or your friend is slacking in a certain aspect of life, which you know you/they can go better in. Never ever waste a moment letting your friend "dull". Because dull iron benefits nobody.

• My final point which is the one that most people tend to overlook the most: Hold each other accountable for what's right. Okay, if you skipped all the other points, PLEASE read this one. This goes out to all the men AND women. How many times is it that you see a friend be consistently trifling in whatever they may be doing, such as being constantly late, sleeping around, bad with money, or anything else? Also, how many times have you heard, "Oh well thats just the way he/she is"? That's completely UNACCEPTABLE. That's also the quickest way to lose the character of the person whom you love dearly. The biggest reason as to why people get caught up in their ways is because they never change. They never change because they never saw/felt a reason to change. They never saw a reason to change because they never saw a problem. The biggest reason why they never see a problem is because, you guessed it, nobody ever told them what they were doing wasn't cool. Most times the best thing to do, is not the most comfortable thing to do. But its those talks, those interventions, those words of accountability that really define how good of a friend you really are. So the "Say man let me holla at you real quick"-s and the "girl come talk to me"-s are the defining moments in any friendship. It all goes back to iron sharpening iron. You don't want your friend's name out there bad and you don't want them to be bad people either. You should want only success and the best for your friends.

Of course the way these things are executed vary from friendship to friendship, but it is my most sincere belief that no matter the method, the same principles exist. The reason why friendships fail also vary from person to person without the use of one or more of these values.

I hope something I've posted here has been educational to some and a confirmation to others. Friendship is a wonderful thing. Don't waste it and don't despise it.

Love...