I Must Be Gay...

*THE ELEMENTS CONTAINED IN THIS ENTRY ARE INFLUENCED BY REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCES*

I must be gay...

"Game is foreign language to me...
Lies...no deceit is the language we speak.
Women deceived and left from harsh beginnings to grieve.
Unlimited seeds sown that breed seeds of conceit
-Males- continue to speak sweet speaks sweet nothings
that continuously...seek, to destroy, meanacingly,
the trust that we could never...acheive."

so with that being said...i must be gay. I look in your eyes, I speak to you. I am, ME. Binaca Joseph Mason. Unfortunately, because you...no WE have been taught...no BRAINWASHED into believing that the proof of a man's expression of manhood lies in his sexuality. If my words don't find their resting place underneath your clothes, in your most private places, I must be gay.

God FORBID you decide to front me on it.
"Nigga! You gay!" he or she might say.
"No, I'm not." I reply with a calm look on my face. BUT because I don't yell and scream and lose my composure to appease the suspicious and warped and skewed STANDARDS that you measure by...I must be gay.

So much more I could put here, but not today.

WHERE ARE OUR STANDARDS?! WHERE IS OUR RESPECT?! Why does Lust reign supreme to the point that it generates and breeds FAILURE, PAIN, & IGNORANCE?

So since when is speaking to a woman with respect, intelligence, and genuine interest PAST THE 1st CONVERSATION considered homo? Yall Fools trip me the hell out...I must be gay.

*TRUE SITUATION* A woman I met wants to give away her virginity to keep a man, because all of her past boyfriends left her because she was a virgin. In her eyes, sex = success in love. As much as I'd like to say it, its not out of pure ignorance of her own accord. This society has forced that option on her. But, because I told her that her body is precious and her virginity is a GOOD thing...homeboy to the left was convinced...that I must be gay.

AIDS/HIV and an endless list of STD/STI's...but that don't mean [nothin] to anyone. If I won't take the risk to hit...I must be gay.

Sex ain't bad...but what most have failed to realize is that not having it ain't bad either. Abstinence is a curse word to those consumed in their way. Celibacy- a code word that, according to the standards set by our penises and vaginas, for me, a negro American, means that...you guessed it...I must be gay.

Pregnancy...ha. I think I've said enough.

When it comes to women I'm loyal, considerate, respectful. I'm a friend, a confidant, a consultant, a shoulder, an ear, a voice, a heart. I'm patient, longsuffering, gentle, open, understanding, loving, caring. I provide, I give, I contribute, I build, I encourage, I nurture, I do all that I can, because that's who B.J. Mason is.

I know what love is...and I actually LOVE women. But because I show love in its true form to a woman...

...I must be gay.

**CLOSE**
Love...

"Honey Does This Make Me Look Fat?" - A Man's Answer

I actually tweeted about this earlier today. These are things that I myself have learned about communicating with your mate if the issue of weight gain comes up. I've learned that men, generally speaking, aren't insensitive about their lady's weight, but there is a right way and a wrong way, and more times than not, men go left when the subject arises. I can speak on it myself too. But this is of my OWN accord, I didn't get this from a website or a magazine, etc. I've added a little more detail to it here, since I'm no longer limited to 140 characters.

So, ANYWAY...I appreciate being able to help out whenever I can, and to share the things I've learned with whomever wants to listen/read. So fellas, if you need to- take notes, and ladies, hit me up and tell me if I'm on point wit this or not, and if I am, do me a favor and pass it on to the next guy wit green glob comin out his mouth =]

Fellas if your girl is gaining weight, and you think it's gonna be an issue/problem:

#1. DONT treat it like a weight ISSUE/PROBLEM lol but forreal if you sound like you have a problem with her weight, she will feel like u have a problem with HER. If she loves you she wants to be good for you and please you, and any sign of dissatisfaction is like #SHOTSFIRED.

#2. Don't be the one to bring it up. For the love of GOD, don't bring it up unless she does. Trust me. Patience is the key. Wait for the moment. If the moment never comes- (*see entry "#2b")

#2b. Only bring it up if it gets extreme - less than 100 & 300+ because then & ONLY THEN is it a serious health issue, that MUST be address. NO DEAD GIRLFRIENDS!

#3. Maintain her confidence. No matter how a girl looks, if her confidence is low- she's ugly. If she's feeling herself, don't shoot her down. If you shoot her down, you're going down too. Good confidence almost always equals happiness.

#3b. If you are her man, you are the #1 person (besides herself) that she's GOTTA be sexy to. So always tell her how beautiful she is. Be affectionate. Show her that you are attracted to her. Ladies love to feel this way as opposed to wondering "Am I still attractive to him?" A little weight gain doesn't mean that she's repulsive. She's still your lady, and you have that responsibility, YES RESPONSIBILITY, to care for and cater to her esteem. Always tell her how beautiful she is.

#4. If she has a problem with her weight/appearance, talk WITH her, not TO her. Communication is a two-way street, not a one-man show. Listen, PLEASE listen, and remember to think before you say ANYTHING. (See #1)

#4b. Discuss the problem, what it is, why she feels that way, and some (keyword) REASONABLE solutions to remedy the problem. EXAMPLE OF WHAT NOT TO SAY: "You just need to lose some weight." You are walking, no, you are running, naw, you are SPRINTING, down a path to destruction! Once again (See #1, #4)

#4c. Make eye-contact. That's very important. Wandering eyes or lack of focus give off "lack of interest" signals. If both of yall are discussing it, it has to be equally important. EQUALLY, you can't care less than her, and you damn sure can't care more than her. While you're talking make her laugh so it wont be so tense (unless you usually make bad jokes). MAKE EYE CONTACT (had to say it twice). Above all else, let her know you genuinely want the best for her.

#5. After the talk, reassure her. Hug. Kiss. Smile. Hug. Make her feel good that she opened up to you on a sensitive subject. Because believe it or not, yall just bonded, and if you handled it the right way, she loves you a little bit more.

#6. If she diets, WE diet. If she works out, WE work out. Don't look at it as labor/a burden, look at it as bonding, because that's what she sees. Dieting might not be all smiles, or the most masculine thing to do, but a reasonable diet is beneficial. Working out together can definitely be a fun activity for the both of you to share. Take control and mold it into what you need it to be. This builds trust and unity too.

#7. Love her unconditionally. If yall work out forever & she doesn't lose a single pound, that's cool. If you guys get any closer than the day yall started working out, the time yall spent together is worth it.

So the moral of the story is that there's a solution to any problem, serious or not. Fellas you can work around her gaining weight if that's really a problem to you, but above all, as her man, you must always cater to her confidence. So don't be a jackass about it.

Love...

Friends

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I usually say that the word "love" is used too loosely, and it is. But love in itself is a deep and quite often misunderstood subject. I'll save that for another post though. Today, I want to talk about friendship. Hopefully, you'll be able to extract something from this post and attach it to your own life.

The most casual definition of friend, according to Merriam-Webster's dictionary is "one attached to another by affection or esteem" or "a favored companion". I personally prefer the latter definition, but I still give my readers good information. In latin the word for friend is "amicus" in greek the word is "philos" (male) or "phili" (female) both mean "loved one". So now you have the classroom information.

I've been fortunate enough to have been blessed with great and awesome friends: Carlos Duran Birdsong, Adam Christopher Henson, Joshua Daniel Harvey, just to name three. Now, most people nowadays have undependable people in their lives, and you often hear the phrase, "I don't have friends, I keep associates." This is a result of what happens when the meaning of friendship is abused and people become untrustworthy of others. This isn't anything new. All throughout history, there have been betrayals. Even in the days of the bible, Solomon speaks Proverbs warning of betrayal among friends. Job, in his worst days, couldn't depend on his friends for comfort because his condition and his situation were totally baffling to them. Of course we all can recall Judas betraying Jesus Christ. So we know that betrayal isn't anything new.

But what's the positive side of friendship? Why is it that mistrust is so dominant in the world we live in? What is it that we should look for in a friend? Because contrary to what most would tell you, you cannot make it in this world on your own. You NEED other people to succeed. Friends are an important asset in life.

• The first thing you should make sure to do is associate yourself with people who will build you up. Negative people bring negative results. Misery loves company, but rarely invites success to the party. Remember this and you should go far. Its also good to have friends with the same belief system as you. If you are a Christian, get good Christian friends who believe what you believe and are available to you.

• Solomon writes in Proverbs 18:24 "A man that hathfriends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friendthat sticketh closer than a brother." So we know from reading this that we ourselves must be friendly. Don't be unavailable. Friendship is more than just a smiling face and good conversation. Do a little more to actually show that you are there to BE a friend.

• Okay, this is my favorite point: in Proverbs 27:17, Solomon writes, "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." BUILD EACH OTHER UP ALWAYS! I can count on all the digits on my body how many times a person has found a way to better themselves financially, mentally, etc. and will leave their friends in the dark on what they did. Iron sharpens iron. You and your friend(s) should ALWAYS be trying to better each other. Or perhaps you or your friend is slacking in a certain aspect of life, which you know you/they can go better in. Never ever waste a moment letting your friend "dull". Because dull iron benefits nobody.

• My final point which is the one that most people tend to overlook the most: Hold each other accountable for what's right. Okay, if you skipped all the other points, PLEASE read this one. This goes out to all the men AND women. How many times is it that you see a friend be consistently trifling in whatever they may be doing, such as being constantly late, sleeping around, bad with money, or anything else? Also, how many times have you heard, "Oh well thats just the way he/she is"? That's completely UNACCEPTABLE. That's also the quickest way to lose the character of the person whom you love dearly. The biggest reason as to why people get caught up in their ways is because they never change. They never change because they never saw/felt a reason to change. They never saw a reason to change because they never saw a problem. The biggest reason why they never see a problem is because, you guessed it, nobody ever told them what they were doing wasn't cool. Most times the best thing to do, is not the most comfortable thing to do. But its those talks, those interventions, those words of accountability that really define how good of a friend you really are. So the "Say man let me holla at you real quick"-s and the "girl come talk to me"-s are the defining moments in any friendship. It all goes back to iron sharpening iron. You don't want your friend's name out there bad and you don't want them to be bad people either. You should want only success and the best for your friends.

Of course the way these things are executed vary from friendship to friendship, but it is my most sincere belief that no matter the method, the same principles exist. The reason why friendships fail also vary from person to person without the use of one or more of these values.

I hope something I've posted here has been educational to some and a confirmation to others. Friendship is a wonderful thing. Don't waste it and don't despise it.

Love...